I have, for a few years now, been developing a philosophy, that as we accumulate birthdays, it’s not so much that we ‘‘lose our memory’, it’s more about needing extra time to access those memories.
(read this as ‘needing patience – patience with ourselves – and patience from others)
So, what exactly do I mean by that?
Well, if you ask a 20-year-old a question about their life; they have 20 years of memories to filter through; to access the information, the answer.
A fairly ‘quick’ process one could say (unless of course their brain function has become compromised prematurely by extended exposure to electronic devices – and so don’t get me on to that subject.) Perhaps next blog!!
Ok so where was I?
Oh yes!!!
However, if you ask a person who has had, say 90 birthdays, a question about their life, then they have 90 years of information, of memories to sift through to access that answer.
That’s four and a half times more memories, more life experiences than those of a 20-year-old.
Read that again.
90 years of information, of memories to sift through, to access the answer!!
It’s kind of like flicking through a book of say 200 pages compared to a book of say 900 pages.
It would certainly take longer to flick through the book with 900 pages. Would you agree?
Ok so maybe some of you are thinking ‘so what if there’s some truth in what you are saying Robyn! So What?’
‘So What?’…you ask?
What I’m saying is, what if on some level, when people who’ve had many birthdays, and are taking longer to access memories and related information from their brains; rather than see it as a decline (which in itself can become a self-generating, self-fulfilling prophecy) we simply see it as a Wise Elder accessing a Wealth of their own Life Experiences mixed with Ancient Wisdom, that has been handed down from their Elders.
We know storytelling and listening – true listening, is how knowledge has traditionally been passed down through the centuries.
Traditionally, the Keepers of this Wisdom, this knowledge, were the Elders in our tribes, our villages, our communities, our families.
Sadly, in our fast-paced world, too many of us have lost the art, the patience of listening.
Our short time spans of concentration, our focus on technology and social media, our busyness etc (many factors to long to list) have too often combined with a message that says to our Elders, ‘you don’t count, you don’t matter, you are not worth listening to, and anyway…what do you know!’
We then discount them and call them elderly.
The moment we do this, we not only mentally discard them from having any real worth of contributing to our families, our communities etc. We also in turn, create a world where they begin to see themselves through our eyes, and can mentally discard themselves, their own self-worth, their own sense of purpose.
They may simply emotionally shut down, bit by bit, to a point where ‘why bother, no one listens to me, no one cares what I think or how I feel’, and a sadder, less communicative, and less cognitive mind-set, sets-in.
And please do not hear me say that dis-eases such as Dementia and Alzheimer’s are not real.
I’m so not saying that. What we do know is that depression for example, is one quality of dementia.
And what better way to create depression in an older person, is by our ignorance and lack of respect towards them. When we have taken away the nobility of their age and their position of reverence in their family, in our western culture; we have, together, reduced them from the stature of Eldership to being labelled as elderly. And we then judge and say ‘mum/dad are losing it. I ask them a question and they look at me blankly.’
I’d also look at you blankly and appear as if I’d lost my marbles, if slowly over the years, I sensed a growing lack of respect, a lack of tolerance. And even when you did engage with me, you kept jumping in to finish my sentences or correcting me, when I haven’t accessed all the info yet to answer succinctly.
It would be so depressive to know that the babies I held in my arms and nurtured through to adulthood, are now treating me like I am incapable of making my own decisions…and yes, I may ultimately, over time, just give up!
Cultures where Eldership is still honoured
One of the things I’ve been taught by Native American Elders is the importance of patience, of waiting to do things when the time is right.
Joseph Brucha
You may or may not be aware, there are many cultures where Eldership is still honoured. Where, when the aunts, uncles, grandmothers, grandfathers etc are talking, we are asked to remain quiet, to listen, to learn, to be respectful…because these are those ‘sacred teaching’ moments in life where the ‘Wisdom of the Ages’ are passed down.
Sharing Wisdom can often take time, and not just to access the memories and the knowledge.
It is also about selecting the most accurate and best descriptive words, to be able to more readily ‘paint the picture’ for people to better understand the message, the context, the parable.
An Elm Seed does not grow huge overnight.
It takes decades to fulfil its destiny, as it grows and stands strong
If we’re aware of its beauty, its purpose, its journey; we can then stand, sit, lay down; in awe and silence, and listen, not just with our ears; we listen with our hearts, with our souls, and we become reverent to the Ancient Wisdom they share with us.
Our Elders and our Ancient Trees have much in common, in their ability to share with us what I call our ‘Innate Wisdom’…the wisdom which I believe we are all inherently born with.
However, it is not until we are ‘taught’ this Wisdom consciously, by our Elders, do we water the ‘wisdom seed’ that is buried deep within each of us.
I do wonder how much the brain chemistry, of those people we’ve labelled elderly, and so have shut down; would, with love, respect and reverence, slowly change and perhaps grow new neurons.
We are beginning to know that pretty much anything is possible when it comes to the neuroplasticity of our amazing human brain.
Likewise, I also wonder how much our young people, as they put down their electronic devices, and engage with Elders, would themselves blossom and bloom, as they soak in and become nurtured from the Waters of Life, from their Wise Elders.
Like anything in life, we never know till we give it a go.
My challenge to anyone reading this who disagrees, is perhaps before you discount what I have written, ponder for a while, turn the tap of your own innate wisdom on, remain in silence and undistracted, so you can feel and listen, to what your own truth tells you.
And, one last piece of wisdom from a budding Elder.
Should you be fortunate to live a long and healthy life, wouldn’t you rather be referred to as an Elder…and not elderly…when you have 70+ birthdays under your belt!
So why not support and spread the importance of Eldership within your sphere of influence now, with family, friends, workmates etc.
I wish I would have listened, when I was a kid, to my Elders or people who had my best interests at heart, and then I wish I would have been more conscious at that age also.
Metta World Peace
Dr Joe Dispenza on Alzheimer and Dementia
And just to complete this blog, I thought it may be of interest for people to watch this video clip from part of the conversation I had with Dr Joe Dispenza.
Joe talks about head injuries, heavy metal levels, stress and similar that can turn on the gene of Alzheimer and Dementia and how to prevent and/or heal those conditions.
Joe also shares about our heart/mind connection and how, when we shut down emotionally, we release stress chemicals which, if the emotions are not changed, can cause damage to our brain.
